1st February 2011

Key lime pie

posted in Birthdays, Family, Grief, OmegaDad, OmegaDotter, OmegaGranny, OmegaMom, Wah |

It has been a bad day.

We had our family meeting with the therapist.  When we got home, OmegaDotter was to do her homework before heading to the gym.  OmegaDad headed off to the bathroom.  OmegaDotter finished a couple of problems, then looked at one and started whining about how she couldn’t do it.  I got snarky.  She got whinier.  I got snarkier.  She got hysterical.  OmegaDad emerged from the bathroom.  It escalated.

I ended up shouting loudly at OmegaDad for quite a bit, then storming out of the house.

I found myself at a local bookstore-cum-coffeehouse.  I bought a book.  I got myself a hazelnut mocha.  I got a slice of key lime pie.

While I was eating it, I began to cry.

Because, you see, key lime pie was Mom’s favorite type of pie.  And today is her birthday.  And she’s not here.  And it just sucks in general.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 at 7:34 pm and is filed under Birthdays, Family, Grief, OmegaDad, OmegaDotter, OmegaGranny, OmegaMom, Wah. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 12 responses to “Key lime pie”

  1. 1 On February 1st, 2011, Kirstin said:

    I’m so sorry. ((((you))))

  2. 2 On February 1st, 2011, zunzun said:

    Wow..tough, tough day…hugs.

  3. 3 On February 1st, 2011, leah said:

    I’m so sorry, my friend. Big hug to you.

  4. 4 On February 2nd, 2011, Mrs Jones said:

    Poor lovey - hugs to you.

  5. 5 On February 2nd, 2011, 3cmum said:

    Don’t beat yourself up. Your reactions are totally NORMAL - the grieving process is really hard and really difficult to process. And you know OD and OMD are also processing it in their own way too. A very big cyber hug.

  6. 6 On February 2nd, 2011, Journeywoman said:

    Hugs and all that.

    It really does suck sometimes.

  7. 7 On February 2nd, 2011, Carol Anne said:

    Sorry for your rough day yesterday. I hope today is better.

    I couldn’t eat bacon and scrabbled eggs for a year after my grandma died. That was her dish to make for me when we’d visit. Eventually, I started making bacon and eggs, and I cried. It got better, but it’s a long process.

    BTW, the new earworm is still working. Don’t stop believing!

  8. 8 On February 2nd, 2011, Anon in AV said:

    Ditto what 3cmum said …

    In the USA, we don’t talk much about how difficult it is to lose a parent. It’s like we’re supposed to buck up and just go on as if nothing happened, because everyone “knows” that an elderly parent will die one day; it’s expected.

    But, the reality is… no matter their aging… they are Mom/Dad to us, with years of history and memories built together. Years of conversations. Years of love.

    GrannyJ gave you so much. When it’s suddenly taken away, the void, the gap is bigger than the Grand Canyon.

    After your dad died, at least you knew you still had your mom. Now that she’s gone, it’s a double loss; they are both gone. And, that totally sucks big time.

    Thank you for sharing your grief with us. We care. {{OmegaMom}}

  9. 9 On February 3rd, 2011, Diane said:

    It is just that hard. My sadness and grief has emerged as anger sometimes too. Thinking of you.

  10. 10 On February 3rd, 2011, Karyn said:

    If I were eloquent I would have written what Anon in AV wrote. Also, sometimes it feels like the wheels are coming off the bus, when that happens you have to stop the bus and change the tires. That can look like a lot of things, I think it means you have to take care of yourself…even if it means pulling over to the side of the road to eat key lime pie and cry for a while.
    Hugs.

  11. 11 On February 16th, 2011, carosgram said:

    Being a parent is hard. We try our best and we still make mistakes and question ourselves all the time. Luckily our kids tend to turn out ok no matter what we do. You are trying to deal with OMD at the same time you are processing the loss of your mother. I know when my mom died (my father had died years earlier) I felt like an orphan. I had lost the person who knew me longest and best - one who held the same memories, hopes, dreams and longings that I had. I would never have another mother, I would never again be able to just pick up the phone and talk to someone who loved me no matter how badly I screwed up and who would listen as long as I wanted to talk. I find that I talk out loud to her still. I know if people heard me they would think I was crazy but I believe she is watching me from heaven. I was watching a tv show today that said love is never ending, lasting even beyond death. I am sure that is especially true of mother love, both for our children and from our mothers to us. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

  12. 12 On March 15th, 2011, BlogFront said:

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