Comments on: You can lead a horse to water… http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/ A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All Fri, 25 May 2012 12:18:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Sister Carrie http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130225 Sister Carrie Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:10:47 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130225 I agree with you completely. And -- we used the agency involved three times, and I know them to have impeccable ethical standards, to the point where they scare off some prospective adopters who do not want their agency scrutinizing them too closely. I suspect that the home study and followup were done by a local (Tennessee) agency, but if she had the same training we had, she really did have her fingers in her ears. I agree with you completely. And — we used the agency involved three times, and I know them to have impeccable ethical standards, to the point where they scare off some prospective adopters who do not want their agency scrutinizing them too closely. I suspect that the home study and followup were done by a local (Tennessee) agency, but if she had the same training we had, she really did have her fingers in her ears.

]]> By: Lisa http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130224 Lisa Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:25:19 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130224 This story is so frustrating. Even if the adoptive mother felt she truly could not parent the child, shipping him back like "defective goods" as you pointed out, is truly appalling. I can't imagine how scared and alone that little boy must have felt during that long flight. How many adults have failed that child in his short life? I only hope that all of this attention gets him the help and love and commitment he deserves. This story is so frustrating. Even if the adoptive mother felt she truly could not parent the child, shipping him back like “defective goods” as you pointed out, is truly appalling. I can’t imagine how scared and alone that little boy must have felt during that long flight. How many adults have failed that child in his short life? I only hope that all of this attention gets him the help and love and commitment he deserves.

]]> By: Lauri http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130217 Lauri Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:12:15 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130217 I am not sure this is the adoption agencies fault, adoption from Russia is not easy... I have been there. I think the boy got home and showed some real scary behaviors and instead of getting help, she sent him back. I can feel for her and try not the judge, but my heart goes out to that little boy and for all parents trying to adopt. I admit that there were times in the first 6 months I thought " what have we done".... it was rough and 100 hours of training can't prepare you for that. It is still rough... we struggle with many behaviors,but not once did I ever think of disrupting. She is our daughter... there are no guarantees. I am not sure this is the adoption agencies fault, adoption from Russia is not easy… I have been there.
I think the boy got home and showed some real scary behaviors and instead of getting help, she sent him back. I can feel for her and try not the judge, but my heart goes out to that little boy and for all parents trying to adopt.

I admit that there were times in the first 6 months I thought ” what have we done”…. it was rough and 100 hours of training can’t prepare you for that. It is still rough… we struggle with many behaviors,but not once did I ever think of disrupting. She is our daughter… there are no guarantees.

]]> By: Kate http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130216 Kate Mon, 12 Apr 2010 14:59:47 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2010/04/11/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water/#comment-130216 Well, first of all, the woman who sent the kid back should never have been allowed to adopt in the first place. Which has me wondering if lax standards in Russia has increased adoptions (for less qualified applicants) and therefore the odds of problems making the news. But, I also wonder about Russian caregivers. I've worked with a team of Russians for 10 years -- long story but it's a nice freelance friendship. The thing is... even after 10 long years I struggle with the cultural differences between us. Perhaps it's the same with the kids, too? Well, first of all, the woman who sent the kid back should never have been allowed to adopt in the first place. Which has me wondering if lax standards in Russia has increased adoptions (for less qualified applicants) and therefore the odds of problems making the news.

But, I also wonder about Russian caregivers. I’ve worked with a team of Russians for 10 years — long story but it’s a nice freelance friendship. The thing is… even after 10 long years I struggle with the cultural differences between us. Perhaps it’s the same with the kids, too?

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