We all fall down
posted in Injuries, OmegaDotter, OmegaMom, Volcano |Ash fall actually hit us last night; while it was, apparently, pretty dreadful to drive in, when we woke up in the morning there wasn’t a huge amount of it.
Enough for OmegaDad to haul both cars off to the carwash to remove same, but mostly–as the Weather Service said–a “dusting”.
And now it’s time for Stupid Mommy Tricks.
This afternoon, OmegaDotter got on the computer while I was shifting various loads of laundry, and started up Wilber Pan’s Wuha video. When I got back to the office, she was in kung-fu pose wanting to do some “Wuha-ing” of her own.
I got the bright idea to show her a move that I thought might actually work.
I did not have the bright idea to, say, warn her ahead of time.
I just had her give me her hands, took them in mine, reached forward with my right leg, hooked it behind her left ankle, and pulled towards me, pushing her away from me at the same time.
Hey! Guess what?! That trick really works!
And if you’re not expecting it to work, you get yanked off balance and are sent tumbling forward right onto your “opponent”.
In this case, that would be me smashing into OmegaDotter.
She landed on her back. I managed to bash her eyeball and nose with my arm and elbow. It all seemed to be happening in slo-mo; I managed not to get her in the solar plexus with my knee by somehow twisting around and getting my knee off to the side.
Which means, while I was whacking her a good one in the eye and nose, I was also whacking my knee something fierce on the floor.
There’s a particular feeling of oh-my-god-ness to the realization that you may just have really hurt your very own child. I was terrified that I had broken her nose; she was curled in a ball crying, and I was pulling at her going, “Omimgod baby are you all right omigod baby I didn’t mean it I’m so sorry omigod are you all right sweetie talk to me?!?!“
After a twenty-minute bout of crying snuggled in my lap, and me carefully poking at her nose and waiting for a nosebleed or swelling or purpling, I managed to make her laugh somehow, and all was well.
Except for the fact that my knee is now swollen and quite painful. She, of course, is doing fine.
So there’s your PSA for the evening: Don’t play around with faux martial-arts moves when you don’t know what you’re doing; you might actually hurt someone.
