My memory is not what it once was; this, alas, is the fate that awaits almost all.
To wit: I chanced upon the film “Kindergarten Cop” at the local DVD-aria, in the “buy it cheap” bin. I remembered it as being quite fun and cute, so purchased it.
The dotter pestered me to watch it this a.m., so we snuggled on the futon with the sun reflecting off the snow in the back yard into the family room, and turned on the DVD player.
Well. Okay, then. I remembered bits and pieces of it, all the ones with Arnie in the classroom. What I should have remembered is that, even at his cutest and funnest, Arnie tends to have blood-and-guts movies with bad guys being beaten to smithereens in all sorts of odd places (such as a beauty salon). That there are strung-out hookers and street sleazoids who use rather rank language.
So there we are, snuggled up, with “shit!”s and “asshole!”s and “motherfucker!”s being tossed hither and yon, OmegaMom wincing all the way and hoping its moving fast enough so the dotter doesn’t really catch them. The dotter is requiring an ongoing explanation of the various shenanigans–who is doing what to whom and why–and producing a running commentary. Then Arnie hits the classroom filled with 6-year-olds.
And the dotter turns to me with shocked eyes, and hisses at me, “Ooooh! He used the ‘S-word’!”
I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “Shit! Yes, he used the ‘S-word’ many, many times! Damn! She noticed!”
And she continues, sounding the forbidden phrase out: “Sh-uh-t uh-p! We’re not allowed to use that in school!”
So there ya have it: the various incarnations of the infamous Nine Words went right in one ear and out the other, but Arnie shouting–three times, very loudly!–”SHUT UP!” to the kiddies in his class roused the shocked Victorian in the dotter.
As an aside: Really, I should remember for future reference that any Arnold Schwartzenegger movie is going to include blood, guts, gore, people being beaten, guns firing loudly, and, in this case, a terrorized mommy and child. Um. I did not win the Good Mommy award with this one; the dotter spent about ten minutes in my lap with a blanket over her head, asking when she could watch again.