Won’t you take me to Funk Town was my alternative title. Notice that’s not “funkY” town.
For the past few weeks, I have been sinking deeper and deeper into a funk. Enough so that my lovely OmegaDad is upstairs doing kitcheny magic kinda things for OmegaDotter’s birthday party tomorrow, rather than me. When I wandered into the kitchen and said that he was taking things over, he said, “Well, I thought I ought to, because you seem to be in a funk, so I thought I’d help.”
“I see a red door and I want it painted black.” Everything I try to think of to cheer myself up is not working.
My internal dialogues are going somewhat like this:
Happy Me: Oh, look at all the beautiful fresh new snow!
UberFunk Me: Yeah. Snow. Still more snow. I am so sick of snow.
Happy Me: And the sunshine sparkling all over the snow–isn’t it wonderful?!
UberFunk Me: You mean the sunshine that is just now coming back? The sunshine that isn’t warming anything up? The sunshine that’s going to go into hyperdrive and not let anyone sleep in just a few months? That sunshine?
Happy Me: You could go out and play in the snow, you know!
UberFunk Me: Ugh. It’s cold out there. And the snow will get in my boots and melt, and then my feet will freeze and I’ll get frostbite. No thanks.
Happy Me: Oh, c’mon! In a few more months, it’ll be spring, and you’ll be able to hang out in the yard all the time, and the grass and trees will be a lovely green and the flowers will be blooming. Keep thinking of that!
UberFunk Me: Excuse me. To think of that, I have to think of “a few more months” of winter.
Happy Me: Well, at least the volcano isn’t erupting, this is good news!
UberFunk Me: Volcano. It’s not enough that we have cold and snow and winter for another three months; I have to worry about a goddamned volcano, too?! Just wait until it erupts and the ash fall hits. That’ll be fun.
Happy Me: But it hasn’t happened yet, so it’s not likely to.
UberFunk Me: Whoop-de-doo. It’s gonna erupt, and we’re going to be buried in inches of ash, and we’ll have to wear dust masks and goggles and buy a dozen new car air filters and change them over and over again…
Happy Me: … Well, if it does erupt, it won’t last too long. Hey, look on the bright side: When you start your new shorter hours in a few weeks, you’ll have all that extra time, and you can go exercise, or check out the yoga place!
UberFunk Me: Yup. That’s just ducky. I have to have shorter work hours plus no-pay furlough days because our economy is in the crapper. We’ll also have to keep a tighter rein on our spending, and change our eating habits, and what are we going to do about summer camp?!
Happy Me: Um. Well, hey, at least you’ll still have a job! Lots of people don’t have that any more, so we’ve got it good, right?
UberFunk Me: …
Happy Me: Changing the subject! Isn’t it cute how excited the dotter is about her birthday party?!
UberFunk Me: Yeah. Right. I should be the one upstairs figuring out how to do a unicorn cake, not OmegaDad. I’m letting everyone down. I’m no fun. I’m no good.
Happy Me: …
UberFunk Me: I just want to go into the bedroom, draw the drapes, lie down, and stew in my funk.
Happy Me: …
This is with my happy pills and with my magic light. I’d hate to think of what it would be like without them! So tell me what you all do when you’re stuck in a funk and can’t seem to get out! Surely I’m not the only one who gets into the doldrums like this (though it has been a hella long time since I’ve been in a funk like this).