Comments on: News making the rounds http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/ A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:47:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: FTG Meg http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5073 FTG Meg Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:54:27 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5073 It just boggles my mind that someone could do that. My daughter is only 3, I can not even begin to imagine a circumstance that would lead me to abandon her to child services. Both because she is my child and you just don't do that to your child and because it would breach every promise I made to the Chinese government when I adopted her. In a logical world, adopted children should be able to feel MORE secure than biological children that their parents will take care of them and not abandon them because of all the hoops we have to go through to adopt. There are no accidental adoptions. The decision to adopt is not one that can be made quickly and should not be done lightly. Of course the world is not logical, and so we have idiots like this who give substance to what should be irrational nightmares. It just boggles my mind that someone could do that. My daughter is only 3, I can not even begin to imagine a circumstance that would lead me to abandon her to child services. Both because she is my child and you just don’t do that to your child and because it would breach every promise I made to the Chinese government when I adopted her. In a logical world, adopted children should be able to feel MORE secure than biological children that their parents will take care of them and not abandon them because of all the hoops we have to go through to adopt. There are no accidental adoptions. The decision to adopt is not one that can be made quickly and should not be done lightly. Of course the world is not logical, and so we have idiots like this who give substance to what should be irrational nightmares.

]]> By: figlet http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5069 figlet Fri, 14 Dec 2007 01:43:20 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5069 Like many people, I'm upset about this on so many levels and ir raises so many issues. I think that we need to discuss why it seems more acceptable to return/reject adopted children when something goes wrong. Obviously there is more to this story than we know but I cannot help thinking that a biological child would not have been dropped off at a social welfare office. Why was the child in this story expendable? There's a cryptic little comment on my blog that would seem to indicate perhaps the wife had serious issues. But why not dump her? A 40/50 year old has coping skills that a young child does not. Why not return the wife and hold on to the vulnerable child? Sigh. Sob. Like many people, I’m upset about this on so many levels and ir raises so many issues. I think that we need to discuss why it seems more acceptable to return/reject adopted children when something goes wrong. Obviously there is more to this story than we know but I cannot help thinking that a biological child would not have been dropped off at a social welfare office. Why was the child in this story expendable? There’s a cryptic little comment on my blog that would seem to indicate perhaps the wife had serious issues. But why not dump her? A 40/50 year old has coping skills that a young child does not. Why not return the wife and hold on to the vulnerable child? Sigh. Sob.

]]> By: Lisa http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5065 Lisa Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:57:20 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5065 Ugh. I can only think of my 9-year-old cousin, who was adopted domestically as an infant. He's been with our family for only a couple of years longer than this young girl, and from the moment he came home he was incontrovertibly a member of our family forever. Period. And the fact that this guy is being supported by his employers is ridiculous to me. If the situation was reversed, and he was dropping off one of his two biological children at the Social Services office, would his employers still support him? Somehow I don't think that would be excused, but to me, it's exactly the same thing. I can't believe this guy still has a job representing his country. Ugh. I can only think of my 9-year-old cousin, who was adopted domestically as an infant. He’s been with our family for only a couple of years longer than this young girl, and from the moment he came home he was incontrovertibly a member of our family forever. Period.

And the fact that this guy is being supported by his employers is ridiculous to me. If the situation was reversed, and he was dropping off one of his two biological children at the Social Services office, would his employers still support him? Somehow I don’t think that would be excused, but to me, it’s exactly the same thing.

I can’t believe this guy still has a job representing his country.

]]> By: Jean http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5059 Jean Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:25:45 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5059 Sounds like the worst kind of insensitivite social climbers - the acquisition of a trophy child. Sounds like the worst kind of insensitivite social climbers - the acquisition of a trophy child.

]]> By: Scott Ocheltree http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5058 Scott Ocheltree Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:15:28 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5058 Let's give the "diplomat" and his wife the benefit of the doubt and assume the reasons for their abandonment of this child has been miscommunicated in the press. Now how do we get around loathing and despising them for never attending to establishing citizenship for their daughter? Let’s give the “diplomat” and his wife the benefit of the doubt and assume the reasons for their abandonment of this child has been miscommunicated in the press. Now how do we get around loathing and despising them for never attending to establishing citizenship for their daughter?

]]> By: Julie Pippert http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5056 Julie Pippert Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:13:11 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5056 That makes me feel nauseated. That poor child. NOTHING can make up for that, regardless of reason. It is a permanent gig, this parent job. And adopted children are your real children. That's why I hate the word real. It undermines the relationship. I hope poor Jade gets a loving home but I also know this will scar her. Nothing can make up for her REAL parents abandoning her. At 7. I feel sick. Julie <a href="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Using My Words</a> That makes me feel nauseated. That poor child. NOTHING can make up for that, regardless of reason. It is a permanent gig, this parent job. And adopted children are your real children. That’s why I hate the word real. It undermines the relationship. I hope poor Jade gets a loving home but I also know this will scar her. Nothing can make up for her REAL parents abandoning her. At 7. I feel sick.

Julie
Using My Words

]]> By: Johnny http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5054 Johnny Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:10:37 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5054 I checked the story with my Dutch a-Mom pal. And sadly, it's true and it's caused an understandable furor in the Dutch adoptive community. I checked the story with my Dutch a-Mom pal. And sadly, it’s true and it’s caused an understandable furor in the Dutch adoptive community.

]]> By: Brooklyn Mama http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5050 Brooklyn Mama Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:17:36 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5050 It is shameful. It is shameful.

]]> By: ezfez http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5049 ezfez Thu, 13 Dec 2007 09:22:24 +0000 http://omegamom.com/2007/12/12/news-making-the-rounds/#comment-5049 I read about this in the Guardian. It seems like the Korean official stance is that they're jerks, and the Dutch official stance is that it's very much the tragic scenario you describe. I guess the truth is probably somewhere in between--hopefully closer to the latter. Here's the article with the official statements: http://www.guardian.co.uk/korea/article/0,,2226521,00.html I read about this in the Guardian. It seems like the Korean official stance is that they’re jerks, and the Dutch official stance is that it’s very much the tragic scenario you describe. I guess the truth is probably somewhere in between–hopefully closer to the latter.
Here’s the article with the official statements:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/korea/article/0,,2226521,00.html

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