Heart-to-heart
posted in Adoption, OmegaDotter, Parenting |Long gone (for now, at least) are the nights when getting the dotter to sleep was a struggle. These days, we have two routines, which we alternate.
One routine is “eleven minutes”, in which the dotter and OmegaDad get rambunctious, play “Brother and Sister”, climb into the Thomas the Tank Engine play tent and march around the house uttering train-like noises (”Whoooo-whoooo!”), put on performances, etc. It’s called “eleven minutes” because at one time in the distant past, it lasted 11 minutes. These days, it can range from a true 11 minutes to an hour or so.
The other routine is Dotter snuggles up with mommy in bed and we read a story or a chapter or two from a chapter book.
Then it’s bedtime. And every night, we play the “Feeling Game”. We take turns telling what made us happy, what made us sad, and what made us angry during the day. This is something that came from pre-school, and was supposed to help the kiddos learn to recognize their feelings, and maybe pass on a little bit of what went on during the day. We take turns going first, because often the dotter copies what made me happy, which isn’t really the purpose.
And then we segue off into other topics sometimes, and then it’s Time For Bed, and I read a bit and the dotter (usually) sinks into a sound sleep within five minutes. (I am terrified that even writing this will cause the Kozmik All to laugh uproariously and deem that it is time for sleep disturbances again…)
The “other topics” can range from blatant attempts to put off bedtime (”I need to tell you something, Mommy!” “What?” “What is that?”–pointing at something that she knows very well. I give her the hairy eyeball. She giggles. “Let’s talk about that!” Unh-hunh. Yeah, right.) to social issues at school (”Marie is mean, Mommy!”) to adoption.
A few weeks ago, she wanted to talk about her mommy in China. So we talked about her, and how she was adopted, and the story…and then she said something:
“Mommy?”
“Um-hmmm?”
“Y’know I have her in my heart.”
And she touched herself on the chest with an earnest look at me.
“My mommy in China…I have her in my heart. Always.”
And then she went to sleep.
Now. That’s a pretty standard thing to say as an adult, but I don’t think we’ve said anything like that to the dotter ever. So she just came up with it on her own.
Which I thought was pretty cool.
Linky love tomorrow, really!
