Comments on: Getting it

By: Brooklyn Mama

Brooklyn Mama — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:29:34 +0000

I never use “Gotcha Day” either - I pretty much hate it. Aside from the fact that it makes the child sound like a commodity, I generally dislike using cutesie-pootsie terms for these things. We just say it was “the day we met you and adopted you.” I wonder sometimes if people use “Gotcha” as a way of side-stepping beginning to talk in real ways about adoption.

By: k2

k2 — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 04:47:40 +0000

I’ve been ‘bot bait in the last 24 hours, too. Mine came from somebody hosted by Cogent. I’ve been meaning to block them, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

By: Mutha

Mutha — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:00:54 +0000

THANK YOU for letting me know about Passive-Aggressive notes. I have been reading it for the past hour. I’m hooked. I am also adding you to my Google Reader. Thank you, thank you!

By: Jean

Jean — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:14:36 +0000

I agree with you - Met sounds more friendly to me. Gotcha has a sort of impersonal mercenary feel to me - like I got my dog/horse/car at so and so dealer. Gotcha seems sort of demeaning imho. She’s not a piece of property, she’s a human being and an equal. But then I’m known for being opinionated. I can see saying gotcha in a serious discussion among other parents about the ins and out of the adoption process, etc. but never in front of the child. I think Omegadad has got it down right.

By: Lauri

Lauri — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:39:49 +0000

The term does not offend me or bother me personally, BUT I do see how it may be offensive and I try to be sensitive to that. We use the terms ” Metcha” and “Family DaY”.. for the two days we celebrate. I do not get many of those gotcha questions… I get the ” how old was she” questions

By: kate

kate — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:47:09 +0000

AD here who does NOT like the term “Gotcha Day”.

But, OMG, the article… “Noah is a cat.” Bwhahaha. That made me laugh right out loud. And then I nodded at what the wise 17-year-old had to say.

By: D

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:35:33 +0000

Multiple visits from what looks like a normal web browser but all with no referrer? Congratulation, another bot is browsing your site.

I have a “bad bot trap” on my site and catch a new one every week or so

(and we call it family day - and the day we met)

By: figlet

figlet — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:30:50 +0000

I HATE the term Gotcha Day. I HATE even more that it’s often reduced to Gotcha. As in “When was your Gotcha?”. And I can’t stand using the word “get” to refer to meeting/adopting our kid. For all the reasons you outlined. I know it’s not used malciously. I know people have nothing but the best intentions. I just wish they would think about how awful it sounds and think about why they are so invested in holding on to a term that IS considered offensive by many. Yadda yadda yadda right? I missed that thread. I can only imagine.

By: kris

kris — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:49:02 +0000

connor is from vietnam, they do the giving and receiving ceremonies there so i guess we received him! or he was given to us! i don’t much care for the term got but i am betting i have used it without even thinking about it. we do something special for his adoption day and i think i call it that because i never cared for the gotcha term. no matter what term you use someone won’t like it but you need to deal with what you want things called and not worry about what others like or don’t like. and let’s not even get into the stolen/kiddnapped stuff.

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 02:01:32 +0000

Well, I’m not offended. I’ve also never been asked where I “got” my daughter. We usually don’t call it anything, but when we do, it’s usually “family day” or “homecoming day”. (Not to imply that my daughter didn’t have a family or a home before us… which is why we don’t usually call it anything.