10th October 2007

School daze

posted in Parenting, Pop Culture, School |

Not mine, but a mini-rant prompted by two separate questions on two separate boards I frequent.

One was from the mom of a just-turned-4-year-old in preschool whose teacher had informed the mom that her child was “behind” because he couldn’t use letter sounds.  In other words, he was “behind” because he couldn’t go “buh, buh, buh” when presented with a “B”.  The kid did great guns with the alphabet songs, loved being read to, has a vocabulary that would befit a 2nd grader…

The other was from the mom of a just-turned-4-year-old also in preschool who was thinking of Kumon for her kiddo to tutor him in doing straight lines/curvy lines because, once again, someone made her think he was “behind” because he wasn’t drawing nice straight lines or nice curvy lines.

My succinct mental comment to both comments, in toto:  WTF?!

To expand:  Really.  What.  The.  Fuck.

I’d like to say that if one of the dotter’s preschool teachers had cornered me when she was just turned 4 and given me the same prognosis, I would have laughed in her face.  Unfortunately, I’m quite aware that as a first time mom I lean toward the “I’m clueless, you’re the expert, you must be right” approach.  My WTF is from my superior position as the older, experienced mom of a 5-1/2 year old, looking back.

In addition, I have the experience of knowing what the dotter’s kindergarden curriculum is like.  Right now, they’re doing…one letter per week, focusing on the sounds.  One number per week.  (All stuff the dotter got in her last year in preschool, but soaking in a bit more and beginning to “click”, IMO.)

I read those two questions and my immediate desire is to find those preschool teachers and read them the riot act.  Fer cryin’ out loud.  Kids in preschool are supposed to be having fun.  Circle time.  Playing with Legosâ„¢.  Dressing up.  Running around outside.

Everyone claims my dotter is smart, but I can tell you she certainly wasn’t phonemically aware at the start of her fourth year, nor did she do straight or curvy lines very well.  In my few encounters with Mrs. Footstool, her kindy teacher, the general impression she has passed on to me is that the dotter is doing quite well “academically” (socially?  Eh.), so it appears that her lack of those apparently essential skills hasn’t caused her any difficulty.

If any of my readers are preschool or kindy teachers, it would be nice to get a comment or two from y’all about whether my response is more the norm, or whether these two preschool education fascists pressing these kids are more in the know.  (Yes, I know my labeling them that way gives undue pressure to lean towards saying, “Yo!  OmegaMom!  You’re De Man!” but, hey, it’s my blog.  ;) )

(SpaceMom:  Thanks for letting me know my email was down!

To all:  Does anyone know what note opens Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C# Minor?)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 10th, 2007 at 8:04 pm and is filed under Parenting, Pop Culture, School. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 10 responses to “School daze”

  1. 1 On October 10th, 2007, lizard said:

    Oy.

    I am so with you, OM. which I am sure is NO surprise.

    I think all the pressure is insane. It’s right up there with peeds insisting that kids straight home are “delayed” and should be seeing specialists. I mean, it won’t do them any harm physically and developmentally, but it does *label* them.

    When they hear their story, are these preschoolers going to think “I needed extra help in preschool” which is really not a great way to get kids to love school, love learning, and love themselves.

    I can get competitive, but at the same time lazy. I don’t work on this stuff with my kid much, unless she is showing interest right then. So she, at 5, isn’t doing letter sounds. She is singing and couning in Mandarin. She is adorable. She is smart. She is (gasp!) happy. She isn’t reading. She is 5 for cripessakes.

    I think it’s ridiculous. I think it’s insane when I hear people say that EI tells them their just turned 2-year olds are delayed because they aren’t speaking 4-word sentences. Or their just home from China 18 months olds are speech delayed in English. Like that is a surprise in any way? Like that requires any more intervention than a parent playing with and talking ot the child? Holy crap, this stuff makes my blood boil. But I’ll stop, as my comment is longer than the post.

  2. 2 On October 10th, 2007, PAgent said:

    Does anyone know what note opens Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C# Minor?

    A

    see http://www.pianostreet.com/search/images_tn/rachmaninoffs/rachmaninoff_prel_op3no2.gif

  3. 3 On October 11th, 2007, Lauri said:

    As a former preschool teacher & EI service coordinater… that is so wrong…. you never say a child is behind… every child has strengths & weaknesses and usually by the time they finish pre-K or Kindergarden.. most children are were they should be.

    There is way to much pressure with preschool… the main focus of preschool should be to play & socialize and maybe some basic preschool readiness ( recognizing colors, shapes, numbers, knowing gender, age and the first letter of their name) ” Play is the work of children”… I would run away from any school putting that much pressure on a 4 year old.

  4. 4 On October 11th, 2007, Kat said:

    Can I just say that there has to be a middle ground? A friend of mine got a lot of flack for getting speech therapy for her 2 year old daughter. “Oh, two is so early..they all end up talking.”

    The thing is, she’d been through it already with an older child. Her son ended up being diagnosed with learning and sensory disorders when he was almost 5, after nearly three very difficult years. The boy had major temper tantrums and was withdrawn socially because he couldn’t process his surroundings or communicate his feelings adequately. For a couple years, their concerns were dismissed. “he’s little. Tempter tantrums are normal. He’ll grow out of it. He’ll catch up.” Eventually they got the diagnosis they needed, and speech and occupational therapy has turned this boy in to a happy, successful 8 year old. But when their younger child showed signs of delayed speech at an early age, the parents jumped on early interventions. They didn’t want the child to go through the years of struggle their son did. Needless to say, they didn’t want to spill out the whole story to everyone who told them they were ridiculous for getting speech therapy for their 27 month old.

  5. 5 On October 11th, 2007, Julie Pippert said:

    You know…I’m so glad to have gotten off the Mommy Olympic Track. Preschool is for figuring out how to be in a classroom, socializing, having fun. I could go on and on and will, on my own blog, LOL.

    Obviously I agree.

  6. 6 On October 11th, 2007, Sister Carrie said:

    You probably know what I’m going to say…I’m guessing that these preschools know the expectations of the schools their children are going to attend. And they don’t want to be known as “the preschool whose kids aren’t ready.” They probably feed into kindergartens with high academic expectations, which are there to ensure that the kids pass the NCLB-mandated tests in third grade. Though — Kumon for drawing straight lines?

    Lauri — I’m sure the schools did not use the word “behind.” But when someone suggests to a parent that a child needs extra work in some area, what the parent hears is “your child is behind.”

  7. 7 On October 11th, 2007, Spacemom said:

    WTF? I know, there are TUTORS FOR PRESCHOOLERS here in the Boston area. I am so confused by that.

    Yes, Luna’s preschool is teaching the kids the letters. They are also working on just having fun! What happened to just having fun???
    Kids learn via play. Why do we make everything a race?

    UGH. I could go on for hours.

    Yes, Crazy H was recently told that her daughter might need some evaluation for speech. To be honest, I agree. But that is because she says “A-go” instead of Diego. And “Da-da-De” for Daddy. She really is having troubles…Sigh…

  8. 8 On October 12th, 2007, Jane said:

    Bah. I’m with you.
    Read to ‘em, sing-yes, color, try to stay in the lines (or not). Learn colors. Play. Repeat.

  9. 9 On October 12th, 2007, Mom of a Lego Kid said:

    You know… each kid comes into their own and catches up. My son’s preschool teachers said the same thing… and we did all kinds of ‘intervention’. He didn’t crawl until he was 15 months, didn’t walk until 17 months, and he was about 4 1/2 before we could understand what he was talking about.

    I’m happy to say he is a normal happy healthy 7 year old.
    ( In fact, you can see his cute lego videos at http://www.LegoAdventures.com ) I look at those creations he makes, and I think he is a super smart kid.

    I just think kids have their own timing.

  10. 10 On October 12th, 2007, omegamom said:

    Lizard–Of course you and I agree. This is a surprise? After five years? No. ;)

    PAGent–As always, you are a true gent. Thanks! The problem is that it showed that my guess on a perfect pitch test, and my reasoning, was off. Sigh. At least I can tell when a song is “off”, too!

    Lauri–Thanks for the perspective. “Play is the work of children”–yes.

    Kat–I think you’re correct, that there has to be a balance. Yes, there are children who definitely need the early intervention. But, for instance, having a pediatrician label a child newly home from China as “failure to thrive” because she’s at 5% on the US growth charts is problematic to me (especially since that same child is likely to be at 50% on Chinese growth charts). Your friend definitely had a reason to be doing what she did and getting help…which is a different scenario than the ones I am contemplating, where semi “experts” are telling the parents their preschool kid is behind when the criteria used are items that are part of a kindergarden curriculum. Yes, experts can see issues that parents gloss over (and, of course, vice versa), but these particular instances really got my goat.

    Julie–Loved your post!

    Sister Carrie–Interestingly enough, the first mom posted a followup where she specifically said the preschool was *not* a push-it-push-it type of preschool. Turns out that it was a teacher’s assistant who is getting an education degree, not the lead teacher. Maybe a case of “book learning” versus “real world experience”?

    SpaceMom–As you know, I’m not the ubermom type (thus my blog name ;) ). So the thought of preschool tutors just boggles me!

    Jane–I like your description.

    Mom-o-Lego-Kid–Welcome! So do you think the interventions helped? Or do you think, in the end, they weren’t necessary? I’m glad your son is happy & healthy, and really, *really* into Legos. ;) Cute videos!

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