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	<title>Comments on: &#34;Terrible mistake&#34;</title>
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	<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/</link>
	<description>A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:02:15 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>By: Kate</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1642</link>
		<dc:creator>Kate</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Mar 2007 11:10:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1642</guid>
		<description>Everyone--I don't mean to say that these folks shouldn't be upset, shocked, ready to sue--there is, definitely, malpractice evident, and hte clinic should tighten up its procedures at the very least.  I think my problem most was the very harsh language used in the suit.  I've read of similar cases, but never read any comments about the child itself; I found the little bit about "going out in public" being a constant reminder to be way over the top.

It's probably stuff the lawyer dug out of them to put into the lawsuit, but it just hurt me to read it--especially when I saw the picture, saw how cute and happy she was.  I don't look at the dotter and think "infertility" in any way, shape, or form; mostly I think "you little stinker!" or "awwww" or "how on &lt;B&gt;earth&lt;/B&gt; did you come up with &lt;B&gt;that&lt;/B&gt; idea?!?!"

I can't imagine looking at her and thinking "horrible years of infertility" over and over again, y'know?  She's just who she is, someone we love and cherish.  I would hope that the reality is that Jessica is thought of this way by her parents.  And news reports, of course, want to shock and awe, stir emotions, take sides (journalistic neutrality be damned), so we don't really know what the reality of life is in this family.

It's just...that was a whole slew of unfortunate quotes, at the very least.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Everyone&#8211;I don&#8217;t mean to say that these folks shouldn&#8217;t be upset, shocked, ready to sue&#8211;there is, definitely, malpractice evident, and hte clinic should tighten up its procedures at the very least.  I think my problem most was the very harsh language used in the suit.  I&#8217;ve read of similar cases, but never read any comments about the child itself; I found the little bit about &#8220;going out in public&#8221; being a constant reminder to be way over the top.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s probably stuff the lawyer dug out of them to put into the lawsuit, but it just hurt me to read it&#8211;especially when I saw the picture, saw how cute and happy she was.  I don&#8217;t look at the dotter and think &#8220;infertility&#8221; in any way, shape, or form; mostly I think &#8220;you little stinker!&#8221; or &#8220;awwww&#8221; or &#8220;how on <b>earth</b> did you come up with <b>that</b> idea?!?!&#8221;</p>
<p>I can&#8217;t imagine looking at her and thinking &#8220;horrible years of infertility&#8221; over and over again, y&#8217;know?  She&#8217;s just who she is, someone we love and cherish.  I would hope that the reality is that Jessica is thought of this way by her parents.  And news reports, of course, want to shock and awe, stir emotions, take sides (journalistic neutrality be damned), so we don&#8217;t really know what the reality of life is in this family.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s just&#8230;that was a whole slew of unfortunate quotes, at the very least.</p>
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		<title>By: Julie Pippert</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1641</link>
		<dc:creator>Julie Pippert</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1641</guid>
		<description>I think it is the lawyer, setting up the anguish portion. I can't believe they really think it every time...I hope. How tragic.

This reminds me of the woman suing the abortion clinic after she ended up delivering a live baby, to her shock, a number of months later.

You know...I try to think---humanly, not ideally as I'd want to be---about how I'd feel under these conditions.

I know how all that IF life feels. You go through so much mentally and emotionally, not even to mention physically. You are already wondering what you ever did to deserve this.

So reflecting...I think at least---in ALL honesty---some portion of me would be devastated in some way.

And then...this...

I have learned not to ask people to be grateful.

But I agree with most commenters here: I hope they really can get past it and love their very real daughter.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think it is the lawyer, setting up the anguish portion. I can&#8217;t believe they really think it every time&#8230;I hope. How tragic.</p>
<p>This reminds me of the woman suing the abortion clinic after she ended up delivering a live baby, to her shock, a number of months later.</p>
<p>You know&#8230;I try to think&#8212;humanly, not ideally as I&#8217;d want to be&#8212;about how I&#8217;d feel under these conditions.</p>
<p>I know how all that IF life feels. You go through so much mentally and emotionally, not even to mention physically. You are already wondering what you ever did to deserve this.</p>
<p>So reflecting&#8230;I think at least&#8212;in ALL honesty&#8212;some portion of me would be devastated in some way.</p>
<p>And then&#8230;this&#8230;</p>
<p>I have learned not to ask people to be grateful.</p>
<p>But I agree with most commenters here: I hope they really can get past it and love their very real daughter.</p>
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		<title>By: tshapedgirl</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1640</link>
		<dc:creator>tshapedgirl</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Mar 2007 11:38:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1640</guid>
		<description>I think you nailed it when you described folks in the midst of infertility treatment as being caught up in the romatic idea of a bio-baby sharing bits of you and your partner.  And I get that.  I do understand, and I can relate to feeling that way.

But geesh- they have a beautiful, healthy daughter.  I'd think that you'd be able to get past that once you are raising their child.  

What awful words to say.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think you nailed it when you described folks in the midst of infertility treatment as being caught up in the romatic idea of a bio-baby sharing bits of you and your partner.  And I get that.  I do understand, and I can relate to feeling that way.</p>
<p>But geesh- they have a beautiful, healthy daughter.  I&#8217;d think that you&#8217;d be able to get past that once you are raising their child.  </p>
<p>What awful words to say.</p>
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		<title>By: atomic mama</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1639</link>
		<dc:creator>atomic mama</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Mar 2007 08:15:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1639</guid>
		<description>Words that never should have been uttered.  I feel dirty having read them.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Words that never should have been uttered.  I feel dirty having read them.</p>
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		<title>By: Amanda</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1638</link>
		<dc:creator>Amanda</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:06:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1638</guid>
		<description>Wow... A terrible mistake? That's pretty cold. 

I really hope their child doesn't grow up and read about herself being referred to as a terrible mistake</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Wow&#8230; A terrible mistake? That&#8217;s pretty cold. </p>
<p>I really hope their child doesn&#8217;t grow up and read about herself being referred to as a terrible mistake</p>
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		<title>By: SBird</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1637</link>
		<dc:creator>SBird</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1637</guid>
		<description>&lt;I&gt;"While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her."&lt;/I&gt;

Clearly a contradiction, no?  How can you love her "as your own" and also consider her a terrible mistake?  This center just will not hold.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i>&#8220;While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her.&#8221;</i></p>
<p>Clearly a contradiction, no?  How can you love her &#8220;as your own&#8221; and also consider her a terrible mistake?  This center just will not hold.</p>
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		<title>By: Space Mom</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1636</link>
		<dc:creator>Space Mom</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:31:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1636</guid>
		<description>When we went through the fun of IUI, I had to check the vials of sperm myself to make SURE they matched the bar code that Jay had signed when he dropped them off.

I could imagine the shock of the couple, but I am more upset that they are worried about how they treat this.

That child should be celebrated as life! Sigh...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When we went through the fun of IUI, I had to check the vials of sperm myself to make SURE they matched the bar code that Jay had signed when he dropped them off.</p>
<p>I could imagine the shock of the couple, but I am more upset that they are worried about how they treat this.</p>
<p>That child should be celebrated as life! Sigh&#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: Dirk</title>
		<link>http://omegamom.com/2007/03/22/terrible-mistake/#comment-1635</link>
		<dc:creator>Dirk</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 10:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://omegamom.com/?p=495#comment-1635</guid>
		<description>I can understand being surprised. Maybe even disappointed. But a 'terrible mistake'?

If I look at my daughters there's no doubt that my sperm wasn't involved. They are gorgeous and wonderful and, well, of Chinese descent. That's not a mistake (and anyone who'd say something like that within earshot would regret that). That's a wonderful blessing. We are incredible fortunate to have them.

And I think parents who were successful with fertility treatment and had a child should view this as (God &#124; karma &#124; fate) helping them out... 

Let's hope for them that (God &#124; karma &#124; fate) has no hard feelings about their reaction.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I can understand being surprised. Maybe even disappointed. But a &#8216;terrible mistake&#8217;?</p>
<p>If I look at my daughters there&#8217;s no doubt that my sperm wasn&#8217;t involved. They are gorgeous and wonderful and, well, of Chinese descent. That&#8217;s not a mistake (and anyone who&#8217;d say something like that within earshot would regret that). That&#8217;s a wonderful blessing. We are incredible fortunate to have them.</p>
<p>And I think parents who were successful with fertility treatment and had a child should view this as (God | karma | fate) helping them out&#8230; </p>
<p>Let&#8217;s hope for them that (God | karma | fate) has no hard feelings about their reaction.</p>
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