Comments on: A clarification and a grump http://omegamom.com/2006/08/27/a-clarification-and-a-grump/ A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:24:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Anocat http://omegamom.com/2006/08/27/a-clarification-and-a-grump/#comment-861 Anocat Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:56:00 +0000 http://omegamom.com/?p=315#comment-861 Heck, I have two kids that I gave birth to and I have no idea where all their traits come from! Yeah, sometimes I can see bits that we might have made but who knows if it's nature or nurture that created THAT temper (like DH), THAT love of reading (like me) or THAT ease of making friends instantly (neither)? Oh, and one of mine is developing a disturbing liking for horses. There's absolutely no horsiness in either my family or DHs so where on earth could that have come from? Same place as the dotter's I guess! Kids come into the world as the people they are and we parents just have to learn to live with that. Ano Heck, I have two kids that I gave birth to and I have no idea where all their traits come from! Yeah, sometimes I can see bits that we might have made but who knows if it’s nature or nurture that created THAT temper (like DH), THAT love of reading (like me) or THAT ease of making friends instantly (neither)? Oh, and one of mine is developing a disturbing liking for horses. There’s absolutely no horsiness in either my family or DHs so where on earth could that have come from? Same place as the dotter’s I guess!

Kids come into the world as the people they are and we parents just have to learn to live with that.

Ano

]]> By: chicagomama http://omegamom.com/2006/08/27/a-clarification-and-a-grump/#comment-860 chicagomama Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:59:00 +0000 http://omegamom.com/?p=315#comment-860 We have conversations in our house where we bring up casually that Z. must get her smile from her birth mother, or that when she is being funny that someone in her first family must have teh best sense of humor. It is not so much that I don't want her to be 'her' - but I also don't want her to think that she somehow sprung fully formed from Zeus's forehead eitehr. It is a balancing act in our house to talk about all parts of Z.'s family when talking about the traits and characteristics that she shows. I think the hardest part is that none of us know yet if what we are doing is the right thing for our child(ren). We do our best and hopefully we leave the door open wide enough for our children to talk to us as they get old enough to really process their feelings about these issues and the balance between their life and family before us and the life now with us. ok, I've probably rambled enough...interesting points. We have conversations in our house where we bring up casually that Z. must get her smile from her birth mother, or that when she is being funny that someone in her first family must have teh best sense of humor.
It is not so much that I don’t want her to be ‘her’ - but I also don’t want her to think that she somehow sprung fully formed from Zeus’s forehead eitehr.
It is a balancing act in our house to talk about all parts of Z.’s family when talking about the traits and characteristics that she shows.
I think the hardest part is that none of us know yet if what we are doing is the right thing for our child(ren). We do our best and hopefully we leave the door open wide enough for our children to talk to us as they get old enough to really process their feelings about these issues and the balance between their life and family before us and the life now with us.
ok, I’ve probably rambled enough…interesting points.

]]> By: Vinegar Martini http://omegamom.com/2006/08/27/a-clarification-and-a-grump/#comment-859 Vinegar Martini Sun, 27 Aug 2006 11:58:00 +0000 http://omegamom.com/?p=315#comment-859 In a way, the fact you can't assign a trait or habit to Dotter's birth parents creates more of an individual in Dotter. She's just "her" - not "her mother" or "her father" and whatever social skills she'll develop are a reflection on your parenting rather than biology. Just let her be "her". The rest will follow. In a way, the fact you can’t assign a trait or habit to Dotter’s birth parents creates more of an individual in Dotter. She’s just “her” - not “her mother” or “her father” and whatever social skills she’ll develop are a reflection on your parenting rather than biology.

Just let her be “her”. The rest will follow.

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