Comments on: Owner of a lonely heart

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 21:32:00 +0000

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 18:25:00 +0000

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By: Â©Jac

Â©Jac — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 22:28:00 +0000

I’ve been trying to teach Heathen Son about personal space. It is going over really well if you consider “really well” to be hardly at all. I tell him I need personal space, and he tells me he needs a hug and a kiss, and who am I to deny him those things? ~sigh~

What about a special box of toys (sticker book stuff, coloring book, etc) that you only pull out when you need space?

By: MomEtc.

MomEtc. — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 16:56:00 +0000

I’ve been getting into the same kind of trouble. I usually post after Pippi has gone to bed….which is sometimes rather late. I end up sitting at the computer until the wee hours and then I’m tired the next day.

Anyway, I’ve always been the kind of person who needs time alone. I can commiserate.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 13:41:00 +0000

Another one who can so relate to this. This past year especially I have been struggling to find a balance between dd who is 4 and very needy and my parents, mostly my mom who has always been VERY needy but relied on my dad whom she is now trying to care for. Sandwiched? More like drawn and quartered! I fantasize about escaping to a retreat house near here all by myself to do nothing but sleep-and maybe go for a walk.
Oh I hear you OM:)
I did leave a message yesterday for a counselor so I don’t keep venting all my caretaker frustrations onto dh.

By: Vinegar Martini

Vinegar Martini — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 09:07:00 +0000

I can relate. Unfortunately my ‘alone’ time is the two hours in the car for my commute to and from work. Not ideal but it’s my time - I even turn off the cell phone now.

As for advice - perhaps if you and DD took a small hike together - it’s not 100% alone time but it’s getting you out and her connected to something you enjoy?

beats sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, right?

By: art-sweet

art-sweet — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 08:12:00 +0000

No good suggestions, just a big fat I relate. My partner and I play out this dynamic ALL THE TIME. She was abandoned by her dad as a young child, and reacts to stress by clinging. I react to stress by hiding and not wanting to be needed.

On second thought, here’s a suggestion that I’m pulling out of my arse. I don’t know that Dotter is ready for this developmentally, but I do find it helpful in these moments to articulate what’s going on.

I know it’s scary when daddy is away. He is coming back. Let’s look at the calendar and count how many days until he’s back. Have a small gift (dollar store!) for her to unwrap each day he’s away. Take pictures of the pile so she can see it’s getting smaller.

Then say: I want you to know that mom needs some time by herself but she will never abandon you. I will play with you in ten minutes. (Set a sand timer or other visible way for her to track the passage of time.) And obviously, follow through.

By: Miss Cellania

Miss Cellania — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 07:45:00 +0000

Boy, do I relate! Yet another reason I a insomniac. Try doing this with no husband and TWO clingy kids! They spent 8 nights at their cousin’s home last week, and it was WONDERFUL! Sure, I love them and was glad to see them, but it was nice to get the batteries recharged, both at home and on the road. Probably won’t happen again til next summer.