OmegaMom

Yes, OmegaMom does speak and write the King’s English.

No, OmegaMom does not always spell-check or grammar-check her posts.

OmegaMom is well aware that switching between third-person and first-person within a post is a writerly device, whereas switching between third-person and first-person with the space of a single clause is just plain stupid.

OmegaMom pleads her belly. Or, rather, her daughter’s pneumoniac cough, which has distracted her a few times this week.

---

The best way to get a boatload of hits on your blog (aside from pimping it to all your best buds and shamelessly courting votes for Cute Picture Post [voting is closed, so I'll know if OmegaGranny's fraudulent double-vote counted or not tomorrow]) is to have someone with a boatload of regulars link to you in the first paragraph of her post. Muchas gracias, Cubbiegirl! I’m just glad you liked my post enough to link to it, and hope that a few of your worldwide audience (Australia, England, Alaska, wow!) liked my rantings enough to wander back now & then. I also sincerely hope that anyone who feels like they might be at risk for PAD or currently in the depths of PAD found my post a wee tad helpful.

---

A news headline: A four-year-old turns up on Homeland Security’s “No-Fly” list. What a surprise. As the mother of an almost four-year-old, OmegaMom is merely surprised that more four-year-olds aren’t already on that list.

---

Another headline: Robertson is at it again, saying that Ariel Sharon had a stroke as a result of God’s Wrath.

Is OmegaMom alone in thinking that Robertson’s God doesn’t sound like a very nice creature at all? Smiting Sharon, suggesting we assassinate Venezuela’s president, drowning New Orleans, chastising the entire U.S. via the 9/11 attacks because we’re so gosh-darned secular. Pat Robertson must be alternating between total glee at the way we heathens are being smitten (smited?) by The Lord and simply being terrified all the time. Ain’t my kind of Kozmik All, is all I can say.

---

Gratuitous pics of OmegaDotter in various headgear:

This one was kind of cool. OmegaMom seems to be more solid in her love life than she would have expected–they asked her for advice about love! Woohoo!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.7
Mind:	6.9
Body:	6.4
Spirit:	7.8
Friends/Family:	5.3
Love:	9.1
Finance:	6.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I did have two other tests to display, but the formatting was all wonky, and I give up. Suffice it to say that OmegaMom and Guatama Buddha walk hand-in-hand, but OmegaMom has a slight problem with paranoia.

While cocooning with the OmegaDotter during her illness, OmegaMom has had numerous opportunities to reflect upon the more obvious lessons contained within children’s movies.

Take Mary Poppins. We thought it was high time that OmegaDotter got a gander at this grand old children’s musical. It has been watched and re-watched numerous times this past weekend.

The main lessons from Mary Poppins:

• Women who want to vote are ditzes. Mrs. Banks, though charming in her passion for women’s suffrage, can only be characterized as a true ditz.
• The only way to happiness is to be a member of the Working Proletariat. The best way is to be a chimney sweep. Do not be a banker. Chimney sweeps get gorgeous views, dance the night through on the rooftops, make friends with beautiful, magic women, and have the wisdom of life at their fingertips. Bankers, on the other hand, are crabby, ignore their children, and just plain don’t have any fun. Until they lose their jobs.

Then there’s Spirit. Have I mentioned that OmegaDotter likes horses? “Likes”, of course, is a pale word for the passion she possesses.

The main lessons from Spirit:

• You can gallop from Monument Valley to the Grand Tetons in only a few hours. Furthermore, you can gallop from Monument Valley to the Grand Canyon in mere minutes.
• Wild horses are a Thing of Beauty. Do not tell Mr. OmegaMom this. He can wax passionate about the environmental damage wild horses and wild burros have done to various areas of the Southwest.
• Horses are incredibly smart. Once again, do not tell Mr. OmegaMom this. His belief is that horses are mean, dumb creatures. (I must say that Mr. OmegaMom, being a kindly soul who is wrapped around OmegaDotter’s little finger, hasn’t uttered a peep about these beliefs in her hearing.)
• Female horses are flirtatious, sexy blond bombshells, with eyelashes to die for, and hairstylists who turn their manes into locks that any grown human woman would envy.
• Native Americans are noble, care for the environment, and instinctively attuned to horses. Amurrican men exploring the West are evil, destructive to the environment, and just plain can’t stand uppity horses.

Lessons from The Parent Trap:

• When you get divorced, if you have twins, you should separate them and not let them know about each other. This particular piece of egregious BS makes me steam.
• Parents are dumb. Kids are smart. Long-term home employees are smart.
• It is Good to be such a mischeivous hellion that most parents would run screaming from you. It shows you Have Spunk.
• All it takes to save a bad relationship are two conniving little pre-teen twits manuevering you into various situations that make you reminisce about your original meeting.

Well, that about wraps it up. OmegaDotter is feeling much better (really, truly this time!). OmegaMom is feeling better. OmegaDad, on the other hand, is hacking and coughing and looks likely to be bedridden this weekend.